How Teachers Can Play a Key Role in Violence Prevention
Family violence is gaining recognition in schools as a serious issue, yet it still remains a very hidden, or shied away from, issue. Individuals feel scared to initiative conversations, victims-survivors don’t feel safe reaching out for help, and society places stigma on family violence. As a result, family violence is hidden away and rarely discussed. However, family violence still occurs. In 2022 there were 129,876 police-reported incidents of family violence and 117,093 victims of intimate partner violence aged 12 years or older*. Those are just the reported incidents, let alone the unreported, unshared, and undisclosed cases. The real number could be larger and the lasting impact, tenfold.
We may believe children are isolated or excluded from family violence but in 2022 alone, there were 24,136 children and youth (aged 17 years and younger) who were victims of police-reported family violence*. Family violence affects everyone and it impacts each person differently, depending upon factors such as age, gender, relationship to abuser, and the child’s role in the family. Even just witnessing family violence in the home can have a drastic impact on one’s ability to learn, pursue healthy relationships, develop healthy emotional regulation, and particularly for children, their ability to socialize with others in a respectful manner. Research shows us that children see or hear around 40% - 80% of spousal violence^. Children who witness abuse or experience it are more likely to suffer from immediate and long-term harm, acting with aggressive behaviours, struggling with depression and anxiety, having irregular school attendance, experiencing developmental details, and negative peer involvement.
The best way to prevent violence is to promote healthy relationships
Children and youth learn relationship skills and social behaviours from parents, peers, other family members, and teachers. A high proportion of children and youth who witness or experience family violence in relationships within their childhood go on to perpetuate these patterns in adulthood. These patterns are characterized by dating violence in adolescence, and bullying and aggression at school. The best way to stop this pattern is by modelling healthy relationships. Parents can model healthy relationships with their spouses/partners, siblings can model healthy relationships with each other, and teachers can model healthy relationships towards students and fellow teachers. As an added support, teachers have the unique opportunity to educate their students on healthy relationships, not just modelling them for their students but also being a safe space for students to ask questions, get involved, and become engaged in family violence prevention.
Prevention programs geared towards youth and children model and start the conversation on healthy relationships, allowing teachers to step into their classrooms as positive role models. Teachers who are equipped to speak about healthy relationships, model them with others, and start the conversation on family violence in their classroom can make a huge impact on the lives of their students. Modelling healthy relationships, beginning the conversation on teen dating violence and family violence in general, provides an opportunity to exemplify what healthy relationships, with good conflict and disagreement resolution looks like. Modelling intervenes in what otherwise are children’s only representations of relationships.
Here are a few ways teachers can promote healthy relationships or engage students in the conversation:
Start with recognizing healthy aspects before the unhealthy- engage students in understanding what they want in their relationships, what makes them feel safe, and what they are looking for in their partners.
Begin with respect- respect means equality amongst everyone in the relationship. Start with the foundational elements of healthy relationships: communication, boundaries, trust, and respect, and the rest will follow.
Talk with other educators- what do they notice in their classrooms? What trends are they seeing year to year?
Really understand trust- trust takes time to build, it doesn’t happen immediately. Think of you would trust sharing your passwords with, they usually aren’t someone you’ve just met.
Understand that relationships exist for everyone- we all have relationships with people and they are not always romantic. We have relationships with our siblings, other family members, our peers, our teachers, our supervisors, our coworkers and others. Relationships exist for everyone.
Reflect on your relationship to your students- students pick up on things and they notice when you treat other students differently. Reflect on how you treat your least favourite student, your favourite student, and other teachers. You model relationships all the time to your students, remember to think about you treat others differently and why.
Reframe annoying behaviours- everyone has things they struggle with. What qualities do you struggle with? When you reframe behaviours in other contexts and understandings your attitude and behaviour towards that student will change. We often focus on the challenges but what if we focused on the opportunities for engagement instead?
Vulnerability is scary- it is uncomfortable to share with others or say what we are or are not comfortable with. Be patient in understanding your students’ boundaries in sharing what might be going on in their lives.
Educators’ family Violence Guide
Are you an educator looking to gather more information on recognizing and responding to family violence disclosures in your classroom? Looking for more information on family violence and how you can play a key role in its prevention? Our Educator Family Violence Guide has information on possible indicators of family violence, advice on who to consult with, and follow up questions to check in with students and start a conversation, along with community resources for further information and support. Take a peak at the guide below!
healthy relationships workshops & resources for youth
The Today Centre offers Healthy Relationship Workshops for children, youth, and school-aged kids from grades 5-12. Using a combination of foundational learning sessions mixed with hands-on activities and videos, these workshops explore healthy vs. unhealthy relational choices as they address communication, trust, safety, jealousy, respect, disagreements, intimacy, consent, boundaries, and sharing feelings.
Participants will…
learn to identify characteristics of healthy and unhealthy relationships
analyze healthy choices within relationships
develop essential skills to maintain healthy relationships
explore communication, trust, safety, and intimacy in healthy and unhealthy relationships
learn healthy ways to resolve and deal with conflict and disagreements
identify expressions of jealousy and manage jealousy in healthy ways
identify sources of social support
discuss consent within relationships
learn to maintain and identify boundaries
These workshops also encourage children and youth to reach out for help and and connecting them to community resources if they have identified they may be experiencing an unhealthy relationship.
Additional learning
‘indications’ of family violence at home
In the classroom, teachers can look for signs of bullying and aggressive behaviours towards others. Often the precursor to teen dating violence begins with aggression in childhood, a result of low self-esteem or difficulty in trusting others. Here are a few ‘signs’ (though remember that family violence looks different for everyone and each situation presents a unique set of challenges) of family violence:
A lack of desire in wanting to go home/feelings of fear around home
Making excuses, not showing up for appointments or deadlines
The main parental contact of the child asks for there to be no contact with other parent if there is an issue at school
Classwork references family violence or related topics that are normally unrelated to the course work
A student experiences developmental delay, headaches, stomach aches, eating disorders, self-harm, thoughts of suicide, or struggles with anxiety and depression
Experiences self-blame, feelings of guilt or shame, sudden withdrawal or changes in routine, anxiety, fear towards others.
How are children ‘exposed’ to family violence?
Children can be exposed to family violence even without ‘seeing’ the violence occur. Hearing about the violence or seeing the results of it can also impact them emotionally, behaviourally, and developmentally, with effects lasting a lifetime.
So how are children exposed to family violence?+
seeing the assault or demeaning behaviour occur
hearing loud conflict or violence
witnessing the aftermath (eg. injuries, PTSD in the victim, crying)
learning or hearing about what happened to the victim
being used by an abusive parent/guardian as part of the abuse (eg. threats, manipulation, gaslighting)
seeing an assault or demeaning actions towards the new partner of a parent
being denied what is owed them for child support (eg. lack of food, clothing, hygienic products)
How are children ‘used’ by an abusive parent?
suggesting a child’s behaviour is the reason the parent is abusive
encouraging the children to use abusive behaviour against the other parent
threatening violence against the children and/or pets
talking inappropriately to children about the other parent’s behaviour or ‘turning’ the child against the other parent
prolonged court proceedings about custody and access, especially when the abuser has previously shown little interest in the children
holding the children hostage or abducting them
Children learn by example
There are a number of unhealthy lessons about relationships that children may learn from witnessing or experiencing family violence.
violence and threats get you what you want
a person has two choices - be the aggressor or be the victim
victims are to blame for the abuse
when people hurt others, they do not get in trouble
particular individuals are more weak, helpless, incompetent, stupid, or violent and that’s just the way it is
anger causes abuse or alcohol causes abuse
people who love you are supposed to hurt you
anger, sadness, or other emotions, should be suppressed
unhealthy, unequal relationships are normal/expected
the victim does not have the right to be treated with respect